Helping Your Student Make the Transition to Middle School
The beginning of middle school may be one of the biggest
academic challenges your son or daughter may have to endure.
Here is some advice from a teachers’ perspective about making
this leap a little less scary for you both.
By Carrie Robertson
Make the school YOUR school: Become familiar with the general school routines by attending as many orientations, tours, open houses, and events as possible. Be a familiar face to teachers and administrators. If at all possible, volunteer your help, in any way, shape, or form. Teachers love to know that you really care.
Encourage your child to try at least one elective or after school activity that is NON-academic: Whether it be a sport, drill team, chess club, band, Girl Scouts, or your church. There is overwhelming evidence that students who are involved in their schools and communities are less likely to have social and academic problems.
Understand that middle school isn’t just about school: The social aspect of middle school is MORE important than academics for your student. Help them create a strong sense of self, and find good friends, to resist the barrage of negative messages they will have to endure from society, the media, their peers, and even themselves. Don’t be afraid to say “no”…they need firm, clear limits.
Get help early. Teachers want their students to succeed! Schools today are under more pressure than ever to MAKE SURE that students have access to the resources they need. Be familiar with what it takes to do well in each class. If your student is struggling, ask for help immediately. It isn’t just about grades. The material students learn in middle school forms the foundation for high school, and later college. There are many options, including tutoring and summer school. Most schools have free programs to help students be more successful.
Don’t ignore problems. Problems that show up now are not going to go away without
major intervention. Your student just can’t keep up academically? Many learning
disabilities don’t show up until now, because you can “smile your way through”
elementary school. Experimenting with drugs? Middle schoolers who experiment with
drugs early are much more likely to have an addiction later on. Truancy? Bad attitude?
Violence? Counseling and a strong mentor will become essential. Serious
relationship? Don’t ignore the possibility of early experimentation with sex, including
oral sex.
Keep giving hugs and kisses, tucking them in to bed, and insisting on family time.
While your student has to pull away from you to create their personal identity, they
desperately need Mom and Dad to provide the daily reassurance that they are loved,
and that they are safe. While they may say, “I don’t want to be with you”, what they
really mean is “I need to see if you’ll still want me, even when I change or when I’m at
my worst”. As a parent, we want our kids to know that they are ALWAYS wanted and
always loved.
Middle school is one of the most exciting times to work with young people, because it
is such a pivotal point in who they will become as adults. School becomes a little more
serious, and a lot more stressful. Middle schoolers are engaging and challenging, and
more than at any time in their lives, they need the consistency and love that only parents
can provide.
Carrie Robertson is a former middle school and high school classroom teacher who now
runs her own tutoring business in the San Fernando Valley for students in grades 4-12.
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